Second to last week of the semester...

Well, we just finished the second to last unit test of the course, and today, I started the kids on their last formal writing, the resume.

You would think, given that the vast majority of my seniors are going out directly to the world of work, that a resume would be a valuable tool for them to have.

Then, being reasonable and well educated people, you would then realize the kind of jack-o-lanterns that I teach, and recognize this is going to be, at the least, entertaining. At the least, I believe that this is a valuable experience for the future.

As I've spent the last couple hours answering a long list of repetitive, inane, and possibly slightly brain-damaged questions, as a public service, I would like to offer the following well considered and constructed FAQ for educators to use in their future attempts to teach their students to write a resume.

Q: Can I use the resume that (my (brother/mother/sister) wrote/I wrote last year/that I got online)?

A: No.

Q: I used to steal cars; can I list that as previous work experience?

A: No.

Q: But I used to get paid.

A: Still no.

Q: Can I put down that I like to read Zane books as a hobby?

A: Only if you are applying to review them.

Q: My e-mail address is (Bigboi37@thugz4life.com/sexxisista@hottiemail.com/etc.). Is that good?

A: It depends on the job for which you are applying. In most cases, no.

Q: Can I put down advertising as previous work experience? I advertise on my jacket (holds up jacket with racing badges on it).

A: Only if they paid you for it.

And so on.

For hours.

*sigh* I can't wait to read these final products...

The Beginning Teacher