Excuses

Having just finished grading and entering the last of the research project, I have a single request.

I have no idea who reads this, and honestly, it is more for catharsis than anything. With that having been said, here it goes.

STOP MAKING CRAZY-@$$, CRASS, INANE, POSSIBLY PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE EXCUSES FOR WHY YOU DIDN'T COMPLETE THE BLASTED, BLOODY, GOD(S)-FORSAKEN ASSIGNMENT!!!!

If you didn't finish it on time, and just forgot, say so.

If you just didn't care, say so.

If your Great-Aunt ( Twice Removed) Ethel died, say so.

And bring me an obituary.

I swear, in the last week, I have heard every excuse imaginable.

The substitute said you didn't have to do it.

This one kid, in third block (why is it always third block?!?!?!?!?), stabbed this other kid because this third kid (again with the third!) said that the first kid was with the second kid's girl, but really the third kid was with the second kid's girl, and the first kid had nothing to do with it. Oh, and you were so confused that you forgot the assignment.

The pipes in the bathroom exploded, and prevented your getting to the media center to type - for a month.

Your house is being fumigated for exotic African titmouse fleas, and you couldn't get to your paper, which is sitting, complete with highlighted sources, an outline and an annotated bibliography, on your bed. For a month...

Your cat decided that it wanted to read your paper, and hid it somewhere in the laundry room, and you still can't find it, though you did find that other set of toe-socks you were missing.

There was a bomb threat, and you were just too shaken up to remember to bring the draft to class.

Okay, the last one is almost valid, but the rest? Really? Fumigated?

*sigh*

The energy you've wasted on coming up with an elaborate lie, even with poorly forged, and easily checked evidence, is more than it would have taken to write the blasted one page research paper, which only had to have two sources, one of which was online!

*ARGH*